Ramblings of a Sleep Deprived Mama.

WELL.  It has been a rough few days around the Wilson household, folks.  Ben has been working 12 hour days, which leaves me in charge of dropping Livi off at Lula's and picking her up, which Ben typically does.  In order to do this I've had to adjust my work hours two days this week.  Not a huge deal, but a little difficult.  To say that Big O has been sleeping poorly the last several days (weeks??!!) is an understatement.  Our rough schedule is as follows:

9:00-Midnight: Livi sleeps in her crib, I get 3 hours of deep, uninterrupted sleep.
Midnight: Livi wakes up, comes into bed with me, nurses a little and promptly falls back asleep.  (This sounds good, right?!?)
Every 30-60 minutes thereafter: Livi wakes up crying and thrashing around quite a bit.  Eventually she'll settle down and go back to sleep again.  I wake up EVERY TIME this happens.

This is rough.  First of all, I feel terrible for Miss Thang.  I mean, when she wakes up she seems terribly uncomfortable...that's my interpretation of the thrashing and crying.  She doesn't typically do such things.  She has been extremely cranky in the evening as well.  She is WHINY.  This is not like her.  My girl has a pretty sunny disposition most days.  Second of all, I feel terrible for MYSELF.  I mean, I'm the walking dead.  A zombie.  It took me two coffees to get through my day today.  That's the thing about being a work outside the home mama...you're still expected to be at work and resume normal activities.  I still had to teach class, facilitate a group, hold individual sessions with clients, and push paper.  There's no getting around it.  This is HARD.  That's all I'm saying.  I absolutely love, love, LOVE being Livi's mom.  But somedays are super rough.  To top off the day, O cried when I took her from Lula.  Ouch, my heart.  :-(  And she has a bad diaper rash.  Mommy guilt, does it ever end? Today I'm having a bad mommy day.  If you've read this far into this blog, you're probably wondering why you've done so.  You didn't come here to read my negative blog!  Well, I promised this blog would be honest and about our lives...and sometimes you just. have. a. bad. day.  It is what it is.

Now, as a little pick me up, and your "cookie" if you will for reading to the end, let me share a video of my girl that I took a few weeks ago!! The iPhone has a camera that you can turn on yourself and see yourself, and that is what Livi is responding to.  Enjoy!! ;-)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpqZbrEJJS0

----shan